Mr. Hynde Is Out of His Mind! Read online

  “I’m sorry, A.J.,” Andrea said to me during the standing ovation. “I just couldn’t do it. I was afraid that if I kissed you, I might throw up.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “Me too.”

  Andrea gave me a hug.

  “Oooooh!” Ryan said, “A.J. and Andrea are in love!”

  The audience was still clapping when we noticed Mr. Hynde at the side of the stage behind the curtain. He was crying!

  We all ran over to him. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. I figured Mr. Hynde was upset because Andrea messed up his hip-hop play.

  “What’s wrong, Mr. Hynde?” Emily asked.

  “What was that song?” he asked, wiping the tears with his sleeve.

  “It’s called ‘Tomorrow,’” Andrea said. “It’s from Annie.”

  “It’s the most beautiful song I ever heard,” Mr. Hynde said. And then he started crying again.

  Mr. Hynde is weird.

  9

  TV, at Last

  We were supposed to have music on Monday, but Mr. Hynde was absent. We were kind of worried. Maybe he was sick, or maybe a meteor hit his house or something. That stuff happens all the time. But Miss Daisy told us he was fine and that we shouldn’t worry so much.

  A few days later, after we finished pledging the allegiance, Principal Klutz made an announcement over the loudspeaker.

  “Teachers, please turn on the TV sets in your rooms,” he said.

  We all gasped.

  “But it’s still TV Turnoff Month!” just about everybody in the whole school yelled.

  “Forget about that!” Mr. Klutz said. “Turn on your TVs! There is a very special tape I need everyone to see.”

  Whatever Mr. Klutz wanted us to see must have been really important. Even before TV Turnoff Month, we were hardly ever allowed to watch TV during school. Miss Daisy went to the front of the class and turned on the TV.

  It had been so long since I’d seen TV that I almost forgot what it looked like. But it didn’t take me long to figure out what was on the screen.

  It was this dumb show called American Idol, where people get up and sing dumb songs and these dumb judges tell them how bad they sing. People vote for them, and one by one the singers have to leave until there is a winner. Why the heck did Principal Klutz want us to watch that?

  Some announcer guy said, “Our next contestant is a music teacher at the Ella Mentry School—”

  And out walked Mr. Hynde!

  I just about fell out of my seat. Everybody in the class gasped.

  We couldn’t believe it! It was the most amazing thing that ever happened in the history of the world! You should have been there. Our own Mr. Hynde was on TV!

  “He’s been working on his own rap CD,” I told everybody.

  “This is gonna be cool,” said Ryan.

  Mr. Hynde stepped up to the microphone. He looked a little nervous. Music started playing and Mr. Hynde started singing.

  “‘The sun will come out tomorrow….’”

  I wouldn’t believe it! Mr. Hynde wasn’t singing one of his rap songs. He was singing that dumb bet-your-bottom-dollar song! Tears were rolling down his cheeks while he sang.

  “‘Tomorrow…tomorrow…’”

  After he finished the song, we all cheered. Even me, and I hate that dumb song. I thought the judges were going to say how terrible Mr. Hynde was, because they pretty much hate everybody. But they didn’t. They said he was really good. And when it was announced that Mr. Hynde was going to advance to the next round, we all went crazy.

  10

  And the Winner Is…

  Finally TV Turnoff Month ended and life went back to normal. I watched Mr. Hynde every night on that American Idol show. One night he sang a rap song. The next night he came out with a guitar and a crazy costume and sang a rock ’n’ roll song. He could really play guitar! The night after that he sang a country song about his dog dying.

  We all kept thinking Mr. Hynde was going to get voted off the show, but he didn’t. The other singers were horrible, and the judges said really mean things to them. One by one, they were sent home.

  Mr. Hynde’s picture was in the newspaper. Everybody at school was talking about him.

  We missed music class two weeks in a row because Mr. Hynde was working on the TV show. But we didn’t mind. We were so proud of him.

  Finally there were just two singers left. Mr. Hynde was one of them. The other one was this lady with a big nose. One of them was going to be the winner.

  It all came down to Saturday night. Mr. Hynde sang a song, and then the lady with the big nose sang a song.

  And guess what?

  Well, I’m not even going to tell you because I don’t want to. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

  Okay, okay, that was mean. I’ll tell you.

  Mr. Hynde won! He really won! It was the greatest thing that ever happened in the history of the world!

  11

  One Last Song

  On Monday morning everybody came to school excited. We got even more excited when Miss Daisy told us to line up for music class.

  “Yippee!” everybody yelled, even Emily and Andrea.

  We couldn’t wait to get to the music room to congratulate Mr. Hynde. Everybody wanted to be the line leader.

  Finally we got to the music room all out of breath. But nobody was there.

  “Where’s Mr. Hynde?” we all asked.

  “I’ll bet he’s going to make a big entrance, like he usually does,” Ryan said.

  “I’m ready to get down and boogie,” Michael said.

  So we waited. And we waited and waited and waited. Finally, after about a million hundred years, the door opened. And you won’t believe who walked in.

  It was Mr. Loring!

  Boring, snoring Mr. Loring was standing there, looking as boring as ever.

  Everybody gasped.

  “Sit down, please,” Mr. Loring said. “We always sit down for music class.”

  “Mr. Loring!” Andrea asked. “What are you doing here?”

  “I am here to teach music, of course,” he said.

  “What happened to Mr. Hynde?” I asked.

  “Apparently he quit,” said Mr. Loring.

  “What?” I shouted. “That’s not fair!”

  “Principal Klutz asked me to come back,” Mr. Loring said, “and I agreed, against my better judgment.”

  Everybody moaned. Mr. Loring reached into his jacket and pulled out a piece of paper.

  “Mr. Hynde left a note for you,” he said. “Would you like me to read it?”

  “Yeah!”

  So Mr. Loring read Mr. Hynde’s note:

  “I hope you dudes don’t think I’m rude.

  Don’t moan and cry ’cause I didn’t say good-bye.

  I had to keep it real ’til I got a record deal.

  But now I hit it big, so I quit my teaching gig.

  You kids are cool. I dig your school.

  Wherever I go, whatever I do,

  There’s one thing true.

  I’ll always remember you.”

  Emily started crying, that crybaby.

  Well, to be honest, we all started crying.

  “I realize you’re sad that Mr. Hynde is no longer here,” said Mr. Loring. “Maybe if we sing a song, it will make you feel better.”

  “Can we sing that sun will come out tomorrow song?” I asked. “That will cheer us up.”

  “Yeah, it will remind us of Mr. Hynde,” said Michael.

  “I was thinking of something else,” Mr. Loring said. And then he began to sing:

  “Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

  A.J. stole the cookie from the cookie jar.

  Who me?

  Yes you.

  Couldn’t be.

  Then who?

  Emily stole the cookie from the cookie jar.”

  No! Not that song! Anything but that song!

  Mr. Loring made us sing that dumb cookie jar song over and over again until everybody’s name in the
whole class was mentioned. It was horrible. I thought I was gonna die.

  Well, it looks like boring, snoring Mr. Loring is back at Ella Mentry School for the rest of the year. I guess we’re just gonna have to put up with him until Mr. Klutz hires a new music teacher.

  Like the song says, we’ll have to stick out our chins and grin. We’re gonna have to hang on till tomorrow, come what may.

  But it won’t be easy!

  About the Author and the Illustrator

  DAN GUTMAN has written many weird books for kids. Dan lives in New Jersey (a very weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. You can visit him on his weird website at www.dangutman.com

  JIM PAILLOT lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn’t that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at www.jimpaillot.com

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  Credits

  Cover art © 2004 by Jim Paillot

  Cover © 2004 by HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

  Copyright

  MY WEIRD SCHOOL #6: MR. HYNDE IS OUT OF HIS MIND!. Text copyright © 2005 by Dan Gutman. Illustrations copyright © 2005 by Jim Paillot. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  EPub © Edition SEPTEMBER 2008 ISBN: 9780061973468

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