The Homework Machine Read online

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  The thing worked! The thing freaking worked! Every question was answered. The answers were all right, it seemed to me. Not only that, but the answers were written in Brenton’s handwriting. And the letters were even in blue ink. I mean, it was perfect! You’d never know that a machine did it. I couldn’t believe my own eyes.

  JUDY DOUGLAS, GRADE 5

  We were all stunned. It was just amazing. It would have taken me a half an hour to look up all that information. Brenton just slipped the paper into the scanner and the answers popped out a minute later. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed it.

  KELSEY DONNELLY, GRADE 5

  I figured it was a trick. It had to be. Like there had to be a little man inside the computer who did the work. But there wasn’t. It was an honest to goodness homework machine.

  BRENTON DAMAGATCHI, GRADE 5

  Of course it worked. I put the system together over the summer and started using it for my homework starting in September.

  I really have nothing against doing homework, honestly. But it can be time-consuming. Having the machine do the homework for me allows me to pursue other interests. I want to find out more about psychology, physics, and medicine. I hope to find a cure for spinal-cord injuries someday.

  There are only twenty-four hours in a day, unfortunately. The homework machine gave me more time. Sometimes I wish I lived on Venus or Mercury. Did you know that it takes 176 Earth days for Mercury to make one rotation, and it takes 243 Earth days for Venus to make one rotation? So a day on Venus lasts 243 Earth days. How much more could one accomplish in a lifetime if each day lasted that long?

  On the other hand, it would suck to live on Jupiter. A day there lasts only ten hours. You couldn’t get much done in that time at all. Plus, the planet is pretty much a giant ball of gas, which would be difficult to live on.

  MISS RASMUSSEN, FIFTH-GRADE TEACHER

  Sadly, Brenton is not challenged enough at our school. We simply don’t have the resources to stimulate his mind properly. He needs to be in a school for special students like himself. He should be taking high school-level classes. I certainly enjoyed having him in my class, but sometimes I felt that he was bored there. I have to teach for all the kids.

  In October, we did a special project in which I asked the students to design a catapult. You know, those machines they used in ancient times to hurl rocks and things? I thought this would be a good assignment because they would be learning about science, history, and physics, and they’d be having fun at the same time.

  Well, all the kids came in with these adorable little catapults made out of Popsicle sticks and plastic spoons and rubber bands. Except for Brenton. His catapult was the size of a desk. It had ropes and springs and pulleys and levers. It even had a computer chip in it to help you aim the projectile you were firing. I didn’t even understand it. It was simply amazing.

  We took all the catapults out to the playground and had a little contest. Most of them didn’t work very well, but Brenton’s threw a basketball over the school!

  I was sure that Brenton’s father must have done all the work. Parents do that sometimes, and I knew that Brenton’s father was a very smart man who worked in the computer industry. But no, at our parent-teacher conference, Mr. Damagatchi told me he didn’t even know Brenton had made a catapult. That was after Brenton brought it home and stored it in the garage.

  BRENTON DAMAGATCHI, GRADE 5

  You want to know about the catapult? I did a little research into Greek and Roman history. The basic principles of the catapult were known back in the ninth century B.C. I merely refined them. I don’t want to bore you with all the details, but basically, all the parts of the catapult need to be proportional to the size of the torsion springs. It’s simple mechanics, really. That kind of thing was fun for me. I never would have used the homework machine for something like the catapult assignment.

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  Catapults are cool. Miss R. showed us some Web site that said the Romans didn’t have gunpowder back then, so they used catapults to fling boulders and burning garbage and even dead bodies at their enemies in a war. Can you imagine you’re fighting somebody and they start heaving rotten food and stuff at you? War was cool even back then. That was the first time I ever had a homework assignment that was cool.

  JUDY DOUGLAS, GRADE 5

  I didn’t like that catapult assignment at all. I didn’t think that war was an appropriate subject for us to study in school. There are more important things for us to learn.

  KELSEY DONNELY, GRADE 5

  My catapult sucked. It could barely throw a Ping-Pong ball ten feet. Everybody cracked up.

  Where was I? Oh yeah, so the paper popped out of Brenton’s printer and the worksheet was all filled out. After we realized the homework machine was for real, we were all talking at once, asking Brenton how it worked, how he invented it, how smart it was, and stuff like that.

  BRENTON DAMAGATCHI, GRADE 5

  The machine is simple, really. The scanner scans the worksheet and feeds the data into the computer. That’s no big deal. I modified pattern-recognition software that would interpret the words and numbers, to figure out what is being asked.

  If the information is already in the computer, such as the sum of two plus two, the computer simply spits out the answer and the printer prints out a duplicate copy of the worksheet with the answers. If the information is not in the computer, such as the diameter of the Earth, the computer automatically goes to the Internet, where virtually all of the world’s knowledge is stored in digital form. It seeks out the answer from the most reliable Web site, cross-checks it against other Web sites, and the printer prints it out. The most difficult part was designing the software to print the answers in a typeface that looked like my own handwriting.

  It’s not science fiction. It’s pretty basic stuff, really. I’m surprised nobody else thought of it before me.

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  Once I see the thing in action, I go ballistic. I say to myself, this is better than Edison’s invention of the lightbulb. This is better than the Wright brothers’ invention of the airplane. This is the answer to all my prayers.

  Homework was the one thing I hated more than anything else in the world. Homework was the thing that made life so difficult. If I play my cards right, I say to myself, I’ll never have to do it again.

  Suddenly I realized that for all his dorkiness, Brenton was the kind of kid I really want to hang out with.

  JUDY DOUGLAS, GRADE 5

  When that piece of paper popped out of the printer, I felt like I was witnessing a history-making event.

  BRENTON DAMAGATCHI, GRADE 5

  There was one thing I never told anyone. Shortly after I started using the homework machine for my own purposes, I received a mysterious e-mail. It was from somebody who said he’d like to meet me. That’s all it said. At the bottom of the e-mail there was a name: R. Milner. I know better than to respond to strangers online. He could have been crazy, or a child molester, or whatever. I ignored the message.

  KELSEY DONNELLY, GRADE 5

  It was cool. Definitely cool. I couldn’t wait until we got our next homework assignment so we could try it again.

  Chapter 3

  November

  MISS RASMUSSEN, FIFTH-GRADE TEACHER

  Every so often I have one of the parents come into the class and talk about what they do for a living. Sam was very proud of his father, and he brought him in to talk about the military. It was quite interesting, really.

  JUDY DOUGLAS, GRADE 5

  Snik’s dad came in with his uniform and a gun and everything. Can you imagine? A gun in school? I thought it was horrible. Why did we have to learn about war and killing?

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  Judy was all obnoxious, saying the world would be a better place if we just had peace and all that hippie stuff. My dad was cool about it. He told her that sometimes a nation has to defend it
self and if you don’t your enemies will just roll over you. She says that all war wasn’t like that, and he told her some is. What did she know about war, anyway? He really told her off.

  MISS RASMUSSEN, FIFTH-GRADE TEACHER

  I thought it was a wonderful debate. Arguments are not necessarily bad things. They allow people to hear other points of view. The students were really into it. I let them form their own opinions.

  KELSEY DONNELLY, GRADE 5

  Snik’s dad and Judy went at it for like a long time. It was great. We got to miss math.

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  I walk into class one day and the first person I see is Kelsey. Her hair is pink! Pink! Who dyes their hair pink? She looked like a cartoon character or something. Man, you dye your hair pink and you might as well just carry a big sign that says, PAY ATTENTION TO ME! I couldn’t believe it.

  JUDY DOUGLAS, GRADE 5

  Snik told me to get a load of Kelsey, and I saw that hideous hair. At first I thought she used that spray-on stuff and it washes off in a week or so. But it was the real thing! Can you imagine?

  Well, I thought it was just awful at first. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to deface themselves like that. I can’t imagine anyone’s parent letting a child our age do that. I thought about it some more, though. It occurred to me that I don’t like it when people judge me by the color of my skin. I shouldn’t judge anyone by the color of their hair.

  KELSEY DONNELLY, GARDE 5

  So I dyed my hair. Big whup. They all acted like I cut off my arm or something. It was a birthday present. My mom dyes her hair so she’ll look younger, so she couldn’t really argue that I wanted to dye my hair. Whatever. I thought you wanted to know about the homework machine.

  MISS RASMUSSEN, FIFTH-GRADE TEACHER

  Fifth grade is hard. Kids have to express their individuality. Pink hair, blue hair, it doesn’t matter to me. As long as they pay attention, complete their assignments, and try their best, they can do what they want with their hair.

  Our school goes all the way from K to grade twelve, but the older grades have their own part of the building. When they reach fifth grade, the kids almost think they rule the school. You know what I mean. They’re going to be moving up to middle school, where they will be the “little kids” again. They want to enjoy being top dogs while they still can. Some of them, anyway.

  I really didn’t see much of a difference during the first marking period. Sam was struggling, with both his grades and his attitude. Kelsey was doing okay, but not great. Judy scored in the nineties on all her assignments. Brenton never got less than a hundred.

  I told the kids what I always tell them. Hard work pays off. The harder you work, the better you will do. I think that applies to everything in life.

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  Well, right away I decide that I have to find a way to use the homework machine to do my homework for me. Why not? When cars were invented, people didn’t keep using their horses and buggies, did they? When the telephone was invented, people didn’t keep sending telegrams. When the computer was invented, people gave up their typewriters. Same thing here.

  I wanted to keep it between me and Brenton, but Judy and Kelsey already knew about the homework machine, so I had to include them.

  JUDY DOUGLAS, GRADE 5

  It was Snik who called a meeting with Kelsey and me in the playground after school one day. It was like he had his whole speech all planned out. He said there were only four people in the whole world who knew about the homework machine. The three of us and Brenton, of course. He said we should keep it that way. I asked him what he had in mind. That was when he said we should all use the homework machine to do our homework.

  Well, I didn’t like the idea at all. I get A’s. I’ve made the honor roll every year. I don’t need any machine to do my homework for me. I don’t need any help.

  Snik said to me, “Sure you get A’s. But you have to work so hard to get them. Wouldn’t you like to take it easy a little? Wouldn’t you like to have more time to do other things besides homework? For all your work, you’re still only the second smartest kid in the class. Brenton is the smartest, and he doesn’t have to do any homework at all. He’s got a machine that does it for him. Is that fair to you?”

  Snik may not be the smartest kid in the world, but he’s a good talker. He got me thinking. Maybe Brenton got better grades than me because he had a machine doing his homework for him. That’s not exactly fair. The playing field wasn’t level.

  After thinking it over for a long time I said okay, let’s talk to Brenton and see if he’ll let us use the homework machine.

  KELSEY DONNELLY, GRADE 5

  I said sure, whatever. Include me in. There’s nothing good on TV after school anyway.

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  So I figure Brenton’s not going to just let us use his machine for free. What would be in it for him? We would have to pay him or give him something. That’s only fair. But I don’t have any money. So I think, what does this kid need more than anything else? What does he not have?

  And the answer is obvious. He doesn’t have friends. Maybe he’d let us use the homework machine if we became his friends.

  BRENTON DAMAGATCHI, GRADE 5

  When Snik came up to me during recess and said he wanted to talk about the homework machine, I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I thought he was going to blackmail me. I thought he was going to tell me that unless I let him use the homework machine, he was going to tell Miss Rasmussen about it and get me in trouble.

  But he didn’t say that at all. Instead, he said that if I let him use the homework machine to do his homework, he would be my friend. As if the one thing in the world that I really wanted was for Sam Dawkins to be my friend.

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  Well, Brenton just laughs in my face. He says, “I don’t need friends.” He says, “You don’t have to be my friend. If you want to use the homework machine, that’s fine. Just come over anytime and use it.” He doesn’t ask for anything in return.

  I didn’t get it. He could have gotten just about anything out of me. For all his smarts, the guy just didn’t know how to cut a deal. Fine with me. That was the way I looked at it. If somebody’s gonna give you something for nothing, take it.

  JUDY DOUGLAS, GRADE 5

  The three of us rode our bikes over to Brenton’s house after school that day. His mom kind of looked at us like she couldn’t believe we were back. She made us popcorn and some of those slice-and-bake cookies with designs on them. They were yummy.

  It was all so easy. Miss Rasmussen had given us a worksheet with a bunch of questions about the Grand Canyon on it. We didn’t even bother looking anything up. Brenton just slipped the worksheet in the scanner and a few minutes later the worksheet popped out of the printer with the answers on it. Like magic.

  Brenton had each of us produce a handwriting sample, and he scanned our handwriting into the computer. Then he programmed it to print out separate sheets with the answers printed in our own handwriting. It was impossible to tell that we hadn’t filled out the worksheets ourselves. Our homework was done in no time.

  KELSEY DONNELLY, GRADE 5

  When Brenton gave me my worksheet with the answers on it, I pulled a dollar out of my backpack and handed it to him. I figured the least I could do was give him a buck for doing my homework for me and saving me an hour of work. But he wouldn’t take it. He said don’t be silly.

  We used him. I admit it. We used him all year long. But it’s not like he got nothing out of it. We had some fun.

  SAM DAWKINS, GRADE 5

  So we were over Brenton’s house and I see that he has a chessboard on his desk. I wonder who he plays. I mean, the kid had no friends. So he says, “I play against myself.”

  He would actually play the black pieces and the white pieces against each other, and take turns playing both sides. Do you believe that? It sounded nuts to me.

  He asks me if I play and I say no way. H
e says he would teach me how to play if I want to learn but I say no thanks, that game is boring.

  I didn’t tell him, but I figured there’s no way a dummy like me could learn a game that complicated and play a genius like him. I don’t like losing. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.

  KELSEY DONNELLY, GRADE 5

  We went over Brenton’s house to do our homework the next day too. And after a while we were going over there every day.

  BRENTON’S MOM

  I was so pleased that Brenton was forming this small group of friends. Finally!

  The kids always kept the door closed. I assumed they were doing their homework together and they needed to concentrate. I didn’t ask a lot of questions. I was just happy that Brenton was beginning to fit in.

  BRENTON DAMAGATCHI, GRADE 5

  While we waited for the pages to come out of the printer, Snik kept looking over at my chessboard. I remembered how he showed so much enthusiasm when we were building catapults in October, and he was always talking about his dad in the military and war and things like that.

  So I said well you know, chess is essentially a virtual simulation of war. He seemed to be unaware of that. He thought it was a slow, boring game for “eggheads.”

  I explained to him that when you play chess, you’re like a general with a whole army of all kinds of soldiers at your command. It’s not at all like checkers, where you just jump over the enemy. In chess, you get to attack and destroy the enemy. You try to hunt down and trap the opposing king while making sure your own king is safe. It’s actually very exciting.

  I showed him how the various pieces moved. How the bishops slash across the board and kill. How the queen can do just about anything and is all-powerful, but the king is very limited and must be protected. How the pawns are your foot soldiers on the front lines who protect the more powerful pieces and sometimes must be sacrificed for the greater good. I believe he was intrigued.