Mrs. Jafee Is Daffy! Read online

Check out the My Weird School series!

  #1: Miss Daisy Is Crazy!

  The first book in the hilarious series stars A.J., a second grader who hates school—and can’t believe his teacher hates it too!

  #2: Mr. Klutz Is Nuts!

  A.J. can’t believe his crazy principal wants to climb to the top of the flagpole!

  #3: Mrs. Roopy Is Loopy!

  The new librarian thinks she’s George Washington one day and Little Bo Peep the next!

  #4: Ms. Hannah Is Bananas!

  The art teacher wears clothes made from pot holders. Worse than that, she’s trying to make A.J. be partners with yucky Andrea!

  #5: Miss Small Is off the Wall!

  The gym teacher is teaching A.J.’s class to juggle scarves, balance feathers, and do everything but play sports!

  #6: Mr. Hynde Is Out of His Mind!

  The music teacher plays bongo drums on the principal’s bald head! But does he have what it takes to be a real rock-and-roll star?

  #7: Mrs. Cooney Is Loony!

  The school nurse is everybody’s favorite—but is she hiding a secret identity?

  #8: Ms. LaGrange Is Strange!

  The new lunch lady talks funny—and why is she writing secret messages in the mashed potatoes?

  #9: Miss Lazar Is Bizarre!

  What kind of grown-up likes cleaning throw-up? Miss Lazar is the weirdest custodian in the world!

  #10: Mr. Docker Is off His Rocker!

  The science teacher alarms and amuses A.J.’s class with his wacky experiments and nutty inventions.

  #11: Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal!

  A.J.’s school bus gets a flat tire, then becomes hopelessly lost at the hands of the wacky bus driver.

  #12: Ms. Todd Is Odd!

  Ms. Todd is subbing, and A.J. and his friends are sure she kidnapped Miss Daisy so she could take over her job.

  #13: Mrs. Patty Is Batty!

  A little bit of spookiness and a lot of humor add up to the best trick-or-treating adventure ever!

  #14: Miss Holly Is Too Jolly!

  Mistletoe means kissletoe, the worst tradition in the history of the world!

  #15: Mr. Macky Is Wacky!

  Mr. Macky expects A.J. and his friends to read stuff about the presidents…and even dress up like them! He’s taking Presidents’ Day way too far!

  #16: Ms. Coco Is Loco!

  It’s Poetry Month and the whole school is poetry crazy, thanks to Ms. Coco. She talks in rhyme! She thinks boys should have feelings! Is she crazy?

  #17: Miss Suki Is Kooky!

  Miss Suki is a very famous author who writes about endangered animals. But when her pet raptor gets loose during a school visit, it’s the kids who are endangered!

  #18: Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers!

  Mrs. Yonkers builds a robot substitute teacher to take her place for a day!

  #19: Dr. Carbles Is Losing His Marbles!

  Dr. Carbles, the president of the board of education, is fed up with Mr. Klutz and wants to fire him. Will A.J. and his friends be able to save their principal’s job?

  #20: Mr. Louie Is Screwy!

  When the hippie crossing guard, Mr. Louie, puts a love potion in the water fountain, everyone at Ella Mentry School falls in love!

  #21: Ms. Krup Cracks Me Up!

  A.J. thinks that nothing can possibly be as boring as a sleepover in the natural history museum. But anything can happen when Ms. Krup is in charge.

  About the Author and the Illustrator

  Dan Gutman has written many weird books for kids. He lives in New Jersey (a very weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. You can visit him on his weird website at www.dangutman.com.

  Jim Paillot lives in Arizona (another weird place) with his weird wife and two weird children. Isn’t that weird? You can visit him on his weird website at www.jimpaillot.com.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  Credits

  Cover art © 2009 by Jim Paillot

  Copyright

  MY WEIRD SCHOOL DAZE #6: MRS. JAFEE IS DAFFY!. Text copyright © 2009 by Dan Gutman. Illustrations copyright © 2009 by Jim Paillot. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  Adobe Digital Edition June 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-191943-5

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  About the Publisher

  Australia

  HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.

  25 Ryde Road (PO Box 321)

  Pymble, NSW 2073, Australia

  http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com.au

  Canada

  HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.

  55 Avenue Road, Suite 2900

  Toronto, ON, M5R, 3L2, Canada

  http://www.harpercollinsebooks.ca

  New Zealand

  HarperCollinsPublishers (New Zealand) Limited

  P.O. Box 1

  Auckland, New Zealand

  http://www.harpercollins.co.nz

  United Kingdom

  HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.

  77-85 Fulham Palace Road

  London, W6 8JB, UK

  http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.uk

  United States

  HarperCollins Publishers Inc.

  10 East 53rd Street

  New York, NY 10022

  http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com

  * Okay, the first sentence is done. Enough reading for the day. You can go play video games now.

  * Well, the chairs weren’t playing the violins. The people were. If a chair played a violin, it would be weird.

  * I didn’t even know animals did yoga.

  * “Glub” is the universal language for speaking underwater.

  * I mean, everybody has an arm up their sleeve. Except for that Stonewall Jackson guy. He has a sleeve with no arm up it.

  * Except for Saturday and Sunday, of course.